Giving up..

im tired.. i have not find my soul yet.. and it making me.. loosing it more... why is it so damn hard to find someone to love me.. maybe i should just shut the fuck up and live my life alone.. and change myself by not thinking about others then only myself.... i just being lied by some best women friend of mine.. i always help her whenever she needs me most. but in return.. whenever i need her she is not around.. how do you think it would make you feel.. if your friend act like that.. plus they are the best friend of your life.. now i have given up.. i wont help anymore.. unless it really require me to do so.. if not.. i wont anymore.. im tired.. i help my fren to make them hepy.. but none of them in return be there for me.. is it that hard to accomplish a simple task.. that is to reply my sms when i msg.. 2 or 3 reply would be enough.. im tired.. i havent msg anyone on my phone.. except others fren.. for the upcoming event.... my soul is falling apart.. i couldnt call anyone.. and i couldnt answer the call anymore.. i dont want to..