empty... ness....

there is this feeling that every night i could not describe it.. whether its sad or glad.. i have to rely on songs to vanish it for a moment or make it a moving forward spirit.. and each time this feeling come to pass.. it reminded me of my high school feeling.. i don't know how to say this but 'that' feeling gave me the strength to look for tomorrow.. without it i don't know what would happen to me.. i try read Quran after my prayer but still it couldn't calm this feeling.. i know my time of breathing on this earth is coming to an end much sooner than i expected.. the symptoms have appeared.. i thought it have gone..i have no expectation.. why would i have any expectation.. i live just to suffer with heartache.. suffer this internal bleeding.. this scar that no love could heal.. the love of my family is what i have remain and what gave me strength to endure the fatigue i acquire..